Things Indians Love

Indians love to burn their brides. For Indians, there is nothing that makes a bride glow brighter. Those who love to burn ants and fire crackers are childish; those who love to burn effigies are angry juveniles; those who love to burn down properties are antisocial pyromaniacs; those who love to burn their brides alive are Indians. No one in the world is macho enough to do that. They have refined the ritual over centuries; this is the epitome of a glorious civilization. So do not try this in your own country, you neophytes.

Of course, no one can acquire the sophisticated skill in one day. Indians practice all their lives to perfect the art. It is a passion that starts in infancy: Indians start with baby girls, born or unborn - every year they practice on millions of baby girls. Indian creativity is staggering when it comes to killing baby girls: from stuffing them in clay pots to slitting their throats by feeding them husks, not to mention the classical methods of poisoning and braking their spinal cord. But I digress. I shall save this popular Indian pastime for another post.

But for Indians that is not enough. Indians practice by killing their daughters and sisters for the honor of the family. Next step is the wives. Indians are allowed to practice killing their wives for all most any reasons: not enough dowry is the most often used. There is nothing more manly then basking in the glory of another man’s wealth. When deprived of this pleasure, Indians are surely justified to kill their wives. One other popular excuse is the wives inability to produce male child. In India women are responsible for the sex of the child: Indians are the only Homo sapiens gifted with this biological impossibility.

After all that, if a woman survives and lives to see her husband die, she must be a witch. So it is only fitting that she must be burned to ashes. Indians do offer her a choice: she can volunteer to be burned alive to become sati or a woman of virtue. No women in their right mind would pass up such a deal. If she does, then something must be really wrong with her. It is only then Indians would drug her and drag her to the flame of purification. Indians believe in equal opportunity for setting women on fire: all women are fair game, from girls to goddess - even their beloved Sita was set on fire.

All these killings take a toll on Indian women population, and Indian men are the ones who suffer: the opportunity to ogle, fantasize, salivate, and harass reduces greatly. Indian men have certain standard, and they all agree that it is not as much fun harassing a dead woman. Though all Indians love to kill baby girls, murder women, and burn brides, Indian men are the ones who make the selfless sacrifice. But to their credit you never hear them complaining.

Tags: Female Infanticide, Feticide, Honor Killing, Indian Tradition, Infanticide, Sati